Took my poor kitty, Ramus, in for her vaccinations and found out she has tapeworms...but she did gain .8 lbs in a month, so she's looking healthier. The look on her face was priceless when they used the pill gun to shoot her dewormer pill down her throat. I had to really try not to laugh too hard.

Mom started in on how starving she was when going home so I stopped and got burger king...she's really starting to get on my nerves. We get home and after 10 minutes of her hemming and hawing and "I'm so scared of the ice" she conned Nathan's mother-in-law into helping her up the steps. The bitch can't do ANYTHING by herself. I get in and put down her drink and thanks to the piles of crap she leaves all over the place, it falls over on the floor...soaking everything. All she does is say "Oh no!" and stands there like a moron. I had to clean it all up...and that's when I flipped out. I just can't stand her shit all over the place anymore...her messes she WONT clean up on her own. I took everything she had on the damn coffee table and threw it on the floor, screaming about how I shouldn't be the only one putting things away and why she needs that shit out 24/7 is beyond me. Got so mad, I stomped back out of the house and came back to work


I am seriously losing it. I can't take much more of this. I go to work(s), get home, clean a litterbox, feed the cats...and then I have to daily clean her dishes, close the blinds she opens, turn off all her shit, do her laundry, and clean off her excriment from inside AND outside the fucking toilet...every fucking day. 

And she's soooo happy about a damn date on Friday night...know where I'll be friday? Getting out of Job #3 at 7 am, coming in here at 8 a.m. - and then day's inn at 10 p.m. And she wants money so she can go on a fucking date?

Un-fucking-believeable. Nathan can give her money since he's not paid rent since August.

I am so ready to kill myself or her, not sure which would work out better for me.

Horray for more money. I just got another raise at the Day's Inn. I broke the $8 an hour mark with a solid $8.15. Ok, sure it still sucks, but for the actual work I do, it's decent. Granted, for weekends like the last one, a million dollars isn't enough to deal with hockey groups and their drunk ass parents...

Working on getting my house into shape...what I can do while I wait for mom's house to sell and I can get her into a home. Looking forward to vacation coming up this month. Haven't had a paid vacation in a long, long time. I'd like to ship mom's ass to Florida for her to spend the holidays with her mother, but that cunt bag isn't helpful in the slightest. Got to get mom's christmas cards out for her too. ONe more thing she wanted but won't have anything to do with. Go me...


Fucking laundry sucks when your drier is broken. I am beginning to wonder how the hell I did it in college with my wire rack dryer...takes forever...

Anyway, 12 minutes to go and I can go home, clean everything mom messed up, do her dishes, and play WoW.

I now officially can say I have three jobs! I just got hired at McDonalds for overnight grill a few nights a week. 




Pros:                                                                                                Cons:
One more paycheck!                                                                    Much less sleep
Less time spent at home listening to mom bitch                  Even less free time (is that possible?)               
Paying off bills
Bragging rights and a ready excuse not to help others!


See...two more pros than cons!


I go to an orientation tomorrow night and then start training Monday on the morning shift (before obits here) then closing (after swing here) the week after...then I'm on overnights!

They are starting me out at 10 cents more an hour than I make at the day's inn...wtf....and I've been at the inn for over a year now!


Grrr...

Now do I tell the people I work with at this job? I am sure I can stay sane and it won't affect my job performance here...just my patence while at home. Meh.


Doesn't matter, I will finally be able to pay off my old bills and mom's bills and get a new tv...not that I'll have time to watch it, that is.  And get mom more medication.

Woot.


Granted...I have no idea how many hours they are going to give me there...I offered between 25 and 30...merp.

So I could potentially be working 40 hours at the WDT, 17 at the Day's Inn and 30 at Mc Donalds... for a lovely total of 87 hrs of employment a week!

Damn...

Just got to keep thinking about how happy my bank account will be!

I am bloody sick of this.



So sick of it all.


So depressed that my appetite is gone and I am losing weight left and right - one more pound and I have my second goal reward coming to me. Great, except my body is going into starvation mode.


So get this...I stopped eating so mom could eat ...because after my gi-normeous electric bill...I don't have money to feed her fat ass the way she wants (aka - burgers and pizza every night). So, after a long, long weekend working both jobs obit shift and both overnights, I'm exhausted come Sunday...exhausted...mainly because since Wednesday night I've had a cookie, an apricot, a marshmellow square, a bag of chips, and a bag of fruit snacks as the ONLy solid food I've consumed....and that was on Friday night. I sleep most of the day away and am lethargic ...until I weigh myself and I'm back down to 166, which made me happy...then I get downstairs. And mom states "I'm hungry, I haven't eaten all day."


That would ring a lot truer if :
1) I hadn't done dishes between jobs the night before and BAM...a sink full of dishes ALREADY at 6 p.m. (and since I was asleep...it wasn't me eating)

and

2.) she didn't have food still on her face.


I tell her to go eat something and she gets a constipated look on her face and tells me there is no food.  Now that I won't put up with. For me to not eat just to  let her have what he have left...and her to tell me we have nothing?!?  NO!  I quickly rattle off all the food in the kitchen...a lengthy list, surprisingly...and that's when she starts to bawl.

Why? You may ask...because on that list wasn't "pizza hut" and "burger king."  Big fucking deal. Live with it. 


I am sick of babying a woman who can only think of herself. So I don't have her favorite brand of sugar cereal or a box of fucking pizza ready for her on a whim...I work 57 (minimum) hours a week (and still need a third job to afford her life) just to try and make ends meet, clean all her laundry, scrub her feces off of everything in the loo, buy all her supplies, clean up after her daily, take care of her affairs, listen to her bitch and moan constantly, and yet SHE feels she's so persecuted she can cry over....pizza?!?


I'm going to slit my wrists.

Not even 12 hours....hell, probably not even 6...to the time mom came in and shit all over the fucking bathroom. The rug, which was just washed and put on the floor yesterday....covered in shit when I got home last night. Why me? There's crap all over the floor...the inside of the garbage bin, smeared from teh overflowing diaper, on the rug...and not just A spot, but a large trail...all over her handicapped shower seat and don't get me on the state of her trousers that were just left for ME to clean.  She's talking about how I should move to rochester and nathan will take care of her...HAH...no one will do what I do for her and not get paid. She's seriously lost it.

*sigh* I did the laundry, but got too frustrated with the other stuff.  Ran out of cigarettes Monday and was over 24hrs without one...but that didn't last long. LOL I went to get some of the lozenges, but they are under lock and key at price chopper...so I got cigs instead. Also got a new weight to record that too.

We had curry scallops last night with pasta and some fruit and cottage cheese. Mom didn't complain as much about it, but was "so hungry" later...even though she said she can't gain weight due to her "beautiful dress" her mother bought her.  See...I am doing her laundry, her dishes, cleaning up after her, feeding her all meals...and yet...her mother comes in, buys her one damn dress and suddenly she's way cooler.  Fuck that shit.

I bet it's an ugly old woman dress.

Alright....


One would think a three-day weekend would be a joyous affair...well a three-day weekend from one job.


Hell, a three day weekend with a night off from mom would be even better.

Heck...bliss even.


BUT it would have been better if someone (dragon lady) had kept me in the loop. Here's the scenario: I get home from the Day's Inn Saturday morning just before 8 a.m.  Putter around a bit and then head to sleep at 8:30.  Then...around 10 ish BAM..woken up by, guess who...Merle Gravelle, my mother's mother, and the only person on this Earth I can say I hate with every fiber of my being. I TOLD mom time and time again that I don't want that bitch in the house while I am there...but does she listen, no!  Bitch wakes up and they complain about me for a while as Gravelle moves mom's things into her room.  They wake me up a total of three fucking times before noon. I was so mad, but I didn't come out of my room cause I was so damn tired.  Anyway, the last time was to the sound of the door closing forcefully so I dragged my ass out of bed to pee...and that's when I see the note on my board. MOm wrote "Overnight at Mom's"  Great, I think...a break for me!  Except mom forgot a LOT and Gravelle didn't remember important items such as: Mom's meds, her diapers, her nightgown left in the living room, and her cell phone to name a few things.  Fine, I say...Gravelle can just buy more.

Sadly, I had to work overnight at the Day's Inn, so I couldn't fully enjoy the quiet at home and the lack of my mother's fat ass glued to the couch.  But the moment I got home, I used my time well...cleaned all the dishes, vaccumed like a maniac, bagged all the garbage and brought it down to the basement for the mean time and did all of the laundry, including mom's sheets and got it all folded and placed. Did a scrub of the toilet (thanks mom, for that last gift before you left) and revelled in the thought that I wouldn't have to see a shit covered seat for at least the morning/afternoon.

And, after making sure the front door was unlocked, I went up to bed at 1:30 p.m.  And got some of the best sleep of my life! So quiet...it was hot, but had my ceiling fan going and windows open..my poor kitties are so warm LOL....and cranky.

Anyway, I get up, well-rested that evening...and to my surprise...mom is not home yet.  I check around for notes, but no one has been in the house but me and my brood o cats.

I watched some tv for a while and decide to check my cell phone messages, and that's when I get the news that Gravelle and her son are complete idiots.

Message one states that she is bringing mom back at 2:30 p.m.

Message two states that her son, Jay, stopped by the house and tried all of the doors to both sides and could not get in so she can't drop mom off.  She then proceeded to use up almost all of my minutes, by forgetting to hang up the phone. So I got to hear her leave mom at her house to go with Jay to the concert in Sackets...Funny, mom told me that was the reason Gravelle will be picking her up weekly...and she wasn't going?

First off...who just tries to break into someone else's house...and then does not use the damn door bell?!?! I was there...all fucking day. I would have woken up to the doorbell, you fuckers!  And here's another thing...plan ahead bitch. And inform the person who caretakes when you are bringing back their ward and guess what? This wouldn't have happened.  Anyway, I didn't get the messages until after 1 a.m. so nothing I could have done about it then....funny, though...because I didn't lock the door until 2 a.m.!

Idiots.

The whole lot of them.


And today...I left the damn key under the black mat as directed, with a note explaining that they were morons, and left after leaving mom a note to call me once she got back.

So...it goes on to 1 p.m. here and I am worried because I haven't heard from her yet. So at 1:45, I call her cell...and she answers. I ask her where she is...she's out shopping with Gravelle...all excited about some damn fat girl dress and that they are going out to lunch. I casually mention that she must have found my key ok....and guess what...they never found my key.  But they got into the LOCKED house without one?!?!?!?! She then tells me they left the back door unlocked. (real smart, considering thats where the fucker that tried to break in went to) I call nate here at work and ask if he went home to lunch...nope.  Either they found nathan's key for the back door that was out back or they broke into my damn home. It better not have been the latter...or I will press charges against Gravelle for breaking and entering without my permission.

I am so furious right now. I need a break so badly. I wish Gravelle would just take her for the fucking summer....then I could concentrate on working and earning cash.


Anyway: the sad decision. I will not be going to Otakon this year. I just can't afford it with mom's bills piling up. :-(

Pisses me off because it's my only vacation every year...the only time I get to relax and have fun...and the only time I get to see Claire and Paul.  Grrr...

I finally call the primary care people that the case worker told me about...a few weeks ago...and they are fucking closed on Wednesdays!

GRRRRRR


Mom's really needing more Nexium...the coughing is driving me nuts.

Alright - work was busy, busy busy today. I got up...again, too late to walk to work...and got in my garbage-stink car...le sigh. No parking in our parking lot so I had to park in the public area...grrr...Anyway, the libararian was out sick, so I covered open hours...got the one brother of the pair who never talks and he and I chatted for quite a while. Then a bitch came in and was very very rude, but after an hour, was friendly and we were chatting and she even apologised to me for being mean. YAY.

Got home and mom wanted Arby's for dinner so we went out and got some of that. While eating and watching some HGTV, her brother, James, called. He wanted to talk to me...and get this...the fucker basically lectured me on the fact that mom shouldn't be home all day alone. I pointed out the fact I work two jobs so I can't be there...you idiot. He asked me if "would you like it if you were home alone all day and night?" I was like..."fuck yes, I would. That is my damn dream. I would LOVE to sit around and do nothing...have someone else buy everything for me, take care of me, wash my shit, etc...do my chores...who the fuck wouldn't?" But I didn't I just said. Yes, but I have TWO jobs I have to be at and when I am not there, I am here....

*sigh* This is the same fucktard who seems like he cares sooooo much but he and his brothers were nonexistant after the accident. Even mom's sister went down (and she works two jobs too) to see if mom was ok. But the brothers...oh, no...they are toooo busy to care. But now, this asshole has the right to judge me and how I handle her? This is the same prick who took her four-wheeling. I don't see his ass over to my house doing laundry or painting mom's room...which, by the way is going to take days to do because I am getting out of work at 6 p.m. and she wants to sleep at 7:30...I haven't even finished the first coat of paint yet...though primer is done.

Which reminds me....I yelled at the cats soooo much last night. I was painting and heard some scratching under the bed. I had the door open to dissapate the paint fumes and I took a look under...and they had scratched holes into the fucking box springs and were hanging out inside it. I was sooooo mad. They were ruining a $4,500 mattress! If they are going to go in there again, I will need to buy some plywood for the bottom of the box springs...and when I get a bed for my mattress and box springs, I'll have to do the same. grrrr...

On a positive note, it looks like Oscar has learned the corrilation between scratching pad = treat. He looks to have stopped scratching the furnature...now it's just Harley and Kikashi who are in need of learning.

Sadly, the clean laundry is still downstairs thanks to mom's "I want to go to bed" at 7:30..." *sigh* I tidied up a bit then went to work out for a while. Developing the schedule of machines and such again. I took a quick dip into the pool to cool down. Brought my bathing suit bottoms, but accidentally grabbed a shirt instead of the top LOL...eh, I left the lights off when I jumped in so no one could tell...and it was a black bra top so no wet t-shirt contests goin on LOL.

AND I finally dropped my trash off there...whee...no more trash in the trunk. I stoped at the Mobil station to pick up cigs and no one was inside...I got freaked out thinking there was a dead body behind the counter and they'd just been robbed, but everything looked fine, just no one and quiet. As I finally left, she came out of the back...eh.

Got home around 3 a.m. and watched an episode of Rome...it's getting damn good at this point. Not sure how long this series can be...considering history is rather...set in stone LOL.

And mom and I talked about me having a baby. She said she would take care of him/her while I be at work(s). Not sure if that's so realistic, but who knows...possible. I looked up some directions on how to inseminate yourself and it looks straight forward. They have a recommendation to tell when you are ovulating and all. I think when I purchase sperm from the cryobank, I'll get two doses just to make sure. I know I am pretty fertile with the whole 3 successful egg donations, so I think it would work with a couple tries. That back bedroom would be a perfect nursery... Not sure if I should check out profiles with pictures to guess what the kid might look like or just go on the stats...think you have to pay for ones with pictures...

Anyway, post dating this as I am going to bed and it's 4 a.m. now. Going to try and wake up at 8:30 (doubtful) and walk to work...but who knows...

When I went to bed last night, all five cats climbed up with me. Hinata looked up at me at one point and her little tongue was sticking out almost all the way...it was soooo damn cute. I busted out laughing...man, I wished I'd had a camera with me at that point.  Anyway, I wanted to walk to work because I put trash in my trunk thinking I'd throw it away at work Saturday, then the party there happened and I ran out of time...and last night I fell asleep so I didn't go in to work out...

So I thought heck, I'll get up at 8:30, get ready and walk into work...because my car stinks LOL.  8:30 became 9...which became 9:30...and just before the alarm went off, mom wakes me up by complaining loudly about the same shit on the phone downstairs.  And this time she adds in about JRC's program she wants to do, but "Sarah won't drive me...that's what she says."  I was like...NO, that's NOT what I said. I said "And who do you think is going to drive you?" Implying that of course, it falls on my shoulders to re-arrange my day so you can work 2 hours at mcdonalds or the salvation army... I never said she couldn't go because I wouldn't take her. Man, that pisses me off so bad. I need new clothes so bad...should go shopping tonight after work.

I'm thinking again on the having a kid thing.  I mean, I'm already buying diapers...*sigh* And this little person would grow up and eventually hold a conversation with me that they will remember.  I don't have that hope for mom.


I e-mailed nathan here at work to express my frustrations and he mentioned her mother coming up this summer. I can't wait. Hopefully the crazy bitch takes mom the whole summer! I would love that.  Granted, she's not allowed even one fucking foot in my door. I don't want to see, hear...smell that she's been there. I hate her for life and would rather stab her in the face than look at her. But she can take mom all she wants and in two weeks to a month, I'll start getting calls about how she hates her mother, and they never go anywhere, and she forces her to go to church all weeekend, and she's home alll alone....etc/...

I can't wait.

Anyway, thinking about going down to Subway for a sub....so hungry and don't want to go home. Mom has made it a place I just don't want to be....

Isn't that sad?

Again, I am woken up with mom talking to people about how mean I am and how she hates being alone all day and night. This time she cries to them too.  I am starting to get fed up with it.

I started cleaning the house and looks like I didn't even make a dent. I went upstairs and primed mom's walls for her paint. That shit does NOT look like they do it on HGTV...at all. I lost my balance on the ladder and smacked the side of my head on the wall...and covered it with primer LOL. Not sure if I have to reprime the room or not.  Noticed mom shit her bed...again...so I threw her sheets in the wash.  As predicted, after she ate, mom just wanted to go to bed....and I was not done with the room and her sheets were still in the dryer. I tell her to wait and she almost throws a fit. I bring up the laundry and ask her if she wants to make her own bed, and of course she doesn't....*sigh*  I got my room almost all done before going to work last night and put up my curtain...and a makeshift one for the other window. I need new window treatments...*le sigh*

And...diaper time.  Mom has decided that she doesn't need to take care of her own soiled diapers, so she filled the basket in the bathroom...then overfilled it, then started stacking them on the floor behind it.  So, when I went to clean the toilet, I had to handle this diareah mess by hand.  Not happy about that. Got some more cleaning done and then I fell asleep on my bed...woke up at midnight and did more cleaning, then back to bed now at 4 a.m....good thing I don't have to be to work until 10 a.m.....

I once bet Nathan that mom would last 2 weeks at home before starting to lie and tell everyone who will listen how terrible a person I am and how bored and neglected she is.  Turns out, it's just under 3 months. I woke up this afternoon to her complaining to three different people on the phone how she hates it that she's alone all day and all night and has no one to talk to and how mean I am etc...

Let's break down her complaints...

1.) She is complaining about not having anyone to talk to.  A fact that is proven wrong by the fact she is TALKING to someone at the time.
2.) "I hate that I am alone day and night."  Not true...I can't be at work 24 hours a day. Yes, I have two jobs and yes, I sometimes like to sleep...but I am home, taking care of her every other minute of the day. I don't have a life anymore. I don't see friends. I don't go out anymore. She is not alone day and night.
3.) "Sarah doesn't take me anywhere."  Again, utter bullshit. I have to take her everywhere except work or she whines. A 10 minute trip to the store with her = 2 hours. I'd like to NOT take her, but I do because she wants to go.
4.) "There is nothing for me to do." Again, I've given her plenty of options...one being art, computers, HER OWN FUCKING CHORES. She doesn't want to do any of it. She wants to go out and spend money we don't have.  Tough fucking luck. I don't work two jobs so she can waste my money.
5.) "I never go anywhere." Again...bullshit. Colleen has taken her out four times alone...her brother took her four-wheeling...she goes on daily walks down the sidewalk and back. Need I say more?
6.) "I haven't even eaten today." Then what is that empty box of cereal doing on the table that wasn't there yesterday?  Again, need I say more?

I called her out on this this afternoon, pointing out the fact she forgets everything and is basically lying.  Her answer: To fucking cry...and not stop.

I went out back and chain smoked until she stopped so I didn't say something mean like "I clean up your shit, litterally, take care of your dirty diapers, spend over $150 a week in groceries so you can gorge yourself, give myself stress taking you places, clean your laundry and bed linens, work on your room, vaccume the crumbs up from where you leave them on the floor in the living room, make sure you shower, make and take you to medical appointments, and YOU SAY I DON'T CARE? I've given up my life for her. I have no time for me, my interests, any friends, and am getting more and more depressed every day...

I don't understand.


Anyway, work tonight was interesting....to say the least. Noise complaint from the sixth floor...I tell them this is their only warning and I will then kick them out. 45 minutes later, again. I call to tell them to leave and they won't answer (probably can't hear it over teh 20 people in the room). I call the cops and it must have been a slow night at denny's because three from the resteraunt must have ran out the door and around the building to get in, as quick as they got there (one was really cute, too). Three more squad cars pull up and for the next 20 minutes, a steady stream of 20-somethings run out of the building.  Cops beat the elevator down that 20 min. later to announce the room's occupants, three drunk, 40-something Canadians, were on their way out. They then waited in the lobby with me while they came out of the elevators, sarcasm-guns blaring to cuss etc and yell on their way out the door.

A female cop came back in to say that it was good that I called as the people in the room (guests of guests) were well-known gang bangers and drug dealers in Watertown. My eyes went like this: O.O  Cute cop came back to see if I was o.k. They sent in the soberest of the girls for their deposit, and she apologised to me.  Very nice, but if she had just heeded my warning, they could've stayed. *sigh* And, I didn't know this, but later on I learned from Sandra (from the 6th floor) that the short haired Canadian would not shut up outside and cussing etc at the cops so they arrested her...lol.

Now comes the big fun. Canadian 1 calls back and says she thinks she might have left her wallet in the room. Does not want to leave her number, so I put her on hold to go check. I go upstairs and a guy and a girl are trying to get into the room. I ask if they need help and she says that her friend inside is her ride back to Canada. Man, you should have seen her drunk face when I told them the room had been kicked out. Apparently, she and friend were at Denny's when the room was raided. LOL.

She wants to talk to the Canadian woman so I go back downstairs with them and pick up the phone and the bitch has hung up. I leave them down there while I go search for the wallet. The room is a MESS! Alcohol everywhere, cigarette ashes, etc...I find a black dress shoe, some shot glasses, but no wallet.  I try not to touch anything...just in case.

I get downstairs and the girl immediately almost jumps me to ask if I saw a brown jacket in the room. I say no...then begins what I will call "annoy the front desk girl with the same questions, trying to get the answer you want." She wanted to know where the Canadians went. I did not know that. They did not tell me. They wanted their number, again, do not know. She wanted to know about her jacket. I tell her I looked in the armour AND closet and NO jackets...her friend says he left his too...his expensive jacket. Yeah, right.

They leave...they come back and ask the same questions again. They do this...maybe 4 times. Guy who sounds suspiciously like her friend calls and says he is the woman's husband from 605 and wants her number...if he were her husband, he would have her cell phone number.  Fucking terrible liars. I say the same thing I told them many times already.

Then, just before 5 a.m., they wanted a room. They only had so much money so to get them the fuck out of my hair, I just half-rated the room...she again, asked the same questions and I just snapped and told her one last time that "NO I do not know how to contact those people and NO I don't know where they went." The friend started cussing about how they were thrown out and shouldn't have been and I say "No, sir...they SHOULD have shut up when I asked them to. I gave them warning and they ignored it. THAT is a reason to remove someone from the hotel." This is the point the add in that they left a pair of sneakers in the room too.  Again, not there. Jennie comes by and they ask her to check the room and she says not if the cops have been in there.  Way to go Jennie! My hero!

And, as predicted, Alan chewed my face off about it. I should  have just told them to hit the road. I have a hard time putting someone out if we had 5 no shows I checked out and hell, we got paid full price for the room for the night anyway, the $40 is extra. *sigh* Next time this happens I'll just point at the asshats and say they have two options...1.) leave on your own or 2.) I call the cops back and they make you leave.

Going to write a nice thank you card to the cops....
Time for bed...

The day was pretty good. I had grand ideas of getting a lot done, but that never happened. It was all maintenance and when done, it still looked like I had done nothing the entire day.  Horay for naps, though.

Post from CHW that sums up my night at Day's Inn:

Dear Mr. "Wanna fuck?" asking, underage and drunk, cig borrowing, public urinating Asshat,

No, I do not want you to "fuck" me. I don't even want to look at you, but I've been nothing but polite as you rattle on about your stupid christian band and yes, I got the fact you were from Ohio the first twenty times you mentioned it. You disgust me and the fact you whipped out your dick and pissed on our sidewalk while we were outside smoking and talking does not help your case.  You are lucky that I am lazy and didn't just call up the cops from Denny's to arrest your public indecency-urination ass!

So, when someone has their DS out and staring at it, looking like they want you to go away...they want you to go away.  Take the hint and the fact that she will most likely mock you in her notes and to the houseperson AND to her manager later.

You are a loser.

-Night Auditor Ceej

_ _ _ _ _ _

Dear Mr. Would you like to go to dinner,

You were nice, but please realize that just because a being with tits is talking to you and making nice conversation and listening to you, doesn't mean that she wants to consume food with you.  Thank you for being classy about it and very nice. If I did date, I would have considered your offer.  Thank you for not badgering me about it.

-Night Auditor Ceej
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear Mr. Wanna go somewhere, I'm Bored,

NO. You are a loser, and smell like baby vomit.  I want you to go somewhere...go fuck yourself...far far away from my front desk.

-Night Auditor Ceej

I try to be religious about keeping this up, especially since it feels like I can't control anything else, but there's too much missing between my last post and this one to backdate every day, so I'll just play catchup now....

I've started working out with Leigh at the Day's Inn when she gets off from her shift at 11...that works until I have to work the overnight, but eh. The other night, I went swimming for the first time in like...5 years!  Man, I really want to get into shape for otakon this year...which reminds me I have to ask Paul about the room situation and get my ass pre-registered.  Now that I am making some decent money, I should be able to afford cool shit and stuff for my friends (finally).

Hnnn...other than work, mom badgering me every day for that one more thing she needs at the store, it's been basic.  We got the invites to Holly's  bridal shower at the church and it's on a day I have to work both jobs...twice for one on the same day. So I can't go...so what does mom do? She starts fucking crying saying "I waaaaant to gooooooo." I said "Don't you remember Nathan saying he will drive you?" "No." "Well, he will." This did not stop her crying at all...in fact, when I left for work 5 minutes later, she was still fucking crying. What the fuck does she have to cry about? I'm the one cleaning her shit off of every surface she can find to use as a toilet!!!

Speaking of which, I wash her sheets and what happens? I go upstairs today to put away laundry and poof...they are gone...as well as the protective cover on her mattress. I ask her where they are "I put them in the wash." Me: "And...what did you do with the laundry that was already in the washing machine?!?!" "Oh, there wasn't any..."

Turns out she is fucking blind. So her WHITE cover sheet and her LIGHT GREEN sheets went through the wash with a load of darks.  Fucking brilliant.  This is after I asked her to go down the other day to switch her sheets from the washer to the dryer and she refused because "I'm too scared." I am starting to think she's full of shit...enough so that when she goes all over the place, she's never empty.

*sigh* I  need this weekend off like my cats need an endless supply of water. I'll probably come back to work on the yard, maybe do some planting of flowers and finish mom's room, but other than that...my ass is at the day's inn and staying there, playing sims, wow, and whatever else I can think of.

I got two new games and a carrying pack for my DS...I got a game that will teach me french (yay!) and a sims like game of singles in the city LOL.  The latter has me addicted, but the fucking thing screwed up at a point, and I had to start all the fuck over!  ARGH!

Anyway, things at work are good. I made an error on an obit for the 9th and we have to rerun it today. Not sure how, as I no longer retype survivors, but rather just cut and paste, but I accidentally deleted a son there...eh.

Well, going to go do some filing since my DS batteries are dead LOL.  Done with obits for the night!!!!!

Mom started harping on me last night about how her cell phone "wasn't working." I pointed out that she ran out of minutes and now she's all about making me drive her ass to the store to buy more. This morning, she was up, sitting on the couch and staring at the television, which was turned off.  OY...She felt the need to remind me twice in the 5 minute period of getting ready that she needed minutes. Fine...nothing I can do about it when I have to go to work.

Work was good. Got all the stuff for Friday's events done before lunch and when I got home to feed mom "I want pizza" Nichols, she reminded me another three times about her fucking cell phone.  I had to tell her each time that I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO WORK UNTIL 4 PM. *sigh* I got saturday's and sunday's events all done as well, but didn't make them ready to place (that's for tomorrow). When I got home,  mom was sitting on the livingroom couch all dressed and immediately asked if we could go get her minutes for her cell phone. I stated that we weren't going anywhere until she showered because she smelled (and was) like a woman who hadn't showered in 2 weeks! She started complainging that it was so hard for her to be home all alone with no one to talk to.  Gee Whiz...how fucking terrible...to not have to work and let someone else take complete care of you...must be fucking torture...

*sigh* Just one more thing I get to do...wash my overweight mother.  We got into the car, which was no small feat because the wind was so strong, it took mom ages just to get down the sidewalk...even with her walker, and were on arsenal street when mom dropped a bomb on me:

Mom: "Did I tell you that my brother called?"
Me: "today?"
Mom: "No, two days ago. My brother, Jimmy."
Me: "Nope."
Mom: "Well, he works at JRC and he's got a place for me."
Me: "Place?"
Mom: "Are you free on Saturday?"
Me: "No...I am working both jobs Friday and Saturday."
Mom: "Oh...well, it's like a job thing for me. I can go in every day and work."
Me: *pause* "And how do you think you will get to this job?"
Mom: "Oh...I don't know."

It's at that point, for some reason I just broke down and was bawling in the car. The thought of adding yet one more thing I have to do EVERY DAY is just too fucking much. I'm glad she wants to do something, but that feeling will wear off once she gets a boss and a schedule...but I'LL be the one who has to take yet more time out of my day and work schedule to drive her ass to and from this fan-fucking-tastic job.


I can't take it.  We got her damn phone card so she can call her mother 5 times a day and I got new bath towels and some make up as well as cat litter and yet more adult diapers. I need some sharper knives...


Chain-smoked all day. Mom thought my note about not shitting on the living room floor was "funny." and insisted that she didn't. But, she also doesn't remember that she's done it before! Thought I was lying and she blamed it on the cats. *shakes head* No, it was her, but she can say whatever she wants...she won't remember it tomorrow anyway.

I went to bed about 6 p.m. and woke up at 11 p.m. Watched the rest of season one of the Tudors, but didn't get the plethera of dishes, cleaning, and laundry I need to do done...I just couldn't care less about it.

It's almost 4 a.m. and I'm not in the mood to go to bed yet....

I don't know how I got through work today. I was so tired, I was actually dizzy! It was a busy day with the calendar. So much shit in looking ahead that we had to split it into two additions to make it fit. I had this old, illiterate man call about a misnaming of a church in a What's happening.  Sadly, the only thing I could understand was that it ran on Sunday for that day. I have no fucking clue what he expected me to do about it...by that point it had been in print since yesterday morning AND the event was now over! *sigh*

Got home for lunch and mom had made her own (that was nice) and she said "I didn't know if you were coming home." Helloooo...I have to come home every fucking day.  Anyway, the rest of the afternoon went by so fast. I left a little late at 4:30 and mom was making herself a corn dog...saying " I thought you were coming home at 4..." I was like...wtf...30 minutes and your world ends?  *le sigh again* I drank a Smirnoff and went to bed at 5:30.  I slept straight through to 11 p.m.  Went downstairs and that's when the shit hit the fan...not litterally...

but it looked like it. Mom apparently feels that she can use the toilet wherever she is at the moment. Because I sat on the couch and looked over at what crusty stuff my hand was in....and found that mom had shit on the towel sitting on the couch. and my hand was in it...ack! So I toss it into the laundry pile.  That's when I notice that the blanket on the couch...yes, also covered in shit.  Into the pile that goes...  And the bathroom rug that had just come out of the dryer the day before and HADN'T EVEN MADE IT UP TO THE BATHROOM  was also covered in shit. 

So, now faced with two more loads of laundry I get up...and that's when I notice the trail of shit from the couch to the stairs...ON THE FUCKING CARPET! 

Fun for me...because I used up the last of the carpet cleaner when she shit on the floor upstairs.  Had to drive out to Price Chopper and get on my hands and knees and scrub human feeces off of my carpet for ages...trying to keep the cats from eating it.


Why me? I was screaming up a storm downstairs and was soooo mad. Why doesn't nathan have to deal with this half of the time? I hate my life and I need a fucking vacation.... Took forever to clean so now it's close to 3 a.m. and I'm still awake, smelling like Resolve, and have to be at work at 8 a.m. tomorrow. :-(

ARGH! Today was a total and utter wash out for rest. Why? I am glad you asked.  I got home at 7:30 a.m., and got upstairs into bed in record time as I was exhausted, having only slept 4 hours the day before and just worked 16 hours...I wanted 7-8 uninterrupted hours of sleep.


No.Such.Luck.

A little after 11 a.m.....there's mom, at my door...waking me up. "Sarah, are we going grocery shopping?"  "Yes, mom, but not until later...I want to get some sleep because I worked all night. "Ok."

I roll over and go back to bed....But just before noon...there she is again, waking me up. "Sarah, when are we going grocery shopping?" "When I get some rest...I worked all night and I want to sleep..." "Ok."

Another 45-50 minutes pass and she's back upstairs again. "Sarah, when are we going grocery shopping? We need to go." "I KNOW...I AM TRYING TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW. I told you this the last two times you came up here" "I haven't come up this morning" "Yes, yes you have. Now, I know you want to go grocery shopping, but I also want some fucking sleep...so we will go later." "Ok"

This went on every 45 minutes (almost on the dot) Let me re-iterate EVERY 45 FUCKING MINUTES SHE WOKE MY ASS UP TO ASK ME ABOUT THE DAMN GROCERY TRIP! EVERY FUCKING 45 MINUTES! And in-between, she woke me up by talking loudly to her mother on the phone from downstairs...about how I WOULDN'T WAKE UP TO GET HER FOOD! 

"Sarah, I am hungry...we need to get food."  "There are hot dogs in the fridge...and soup in the cupboard." "Oh. We need to go grocery shopping...."

I was so fucking tired, frustrated, and towards the end....fucking furious. I was cussing her out every time she came up after 5 p.m. to wake me up.  Finally, at 7 p.m. I said "Fine...you want groceries bad enough to keep me from any decent sleep all fucking day, get your damn shoes on!" 

And you know what?  We got there and she didn't have one fucking clue at what she wanted. If someone had come along right then and there with a gun, I would have shot myself in the fucking face. I was mad, exhausted, and pretty damn upset.

So I waste an hour at the store, asking her periodically "do you have to go to the bathroom?" "No." And what happens right after I pay for the $150 of groceries? She has to use the damn bathroom. I wanted to stop and get some taco bell on the way home, but she's in the passenger seat, panting and making faces like a fucking 2 year old who has to go. So I have to drive home and get her inside and go back out for food.

My life sucks.


Really sucks.


I chain-smoked for a while...didn't help much. Doesn't help things that I am so damn tired and my neck still hurts from the odd spasm it had the other day in the car. She finally goes to bed and I take a bath...watch the movie and decide to go to bed around 3 a.m. I set the alarm...get into bed...and can't sleep. So I get back up, smoke...and clean the fucking house. There was so much mouldy and crap-crusted shit sitting in my sink...after I already talked to mom about NOT DOING THAT! Why? I did laundry, cat litter, garbage, scrubbing the outhouse of a toilet, and all the dishes...and brought in the groceries and threw out all the shit in the fridge mom said she "wanted" then never ate/drank.

In the end...I never got to bed. Left for work on shit sleep from yesterday morning...and none last night. I did put up the white-board at the top of the stairs and wrote where I was going to be for the day (work) and that after work, thanks to her hijinks yesterday and my cleaning last night, I would be going to bed and that I "will not wake up unless the house is on fire!"

*sigh* So tired and mad!